Jennifer in July
Here is the video Jonathan and I made.. Jennifer in July I made it cute on iMovie but its just a straight video on her here.. But I got it to work so thats a win for me!!
Blog
First 4th
**I tried to publish this earlier today but it didn’t go through** The 4th has proven to be the hardest holiday yet for all of us. Nicholas woke up in a foul mood.. only wanting mommy and he has stayed that way until right now.. up from his nap playing with Daddy while I write. […]
evolving
Another holiday looming. ..without her. But its the first year .. so I know people will care. I know they will notice me and try to be extra gentle.. I am thankful for that.. but so fearful for years to come. I think the horrifying truth is hitting me.. Its never going to get better. […]
DC in pictures
I realized I never wrote a good DC post.. so here it is. I can’t end a blog without pictures of Jennifer.. so here she is on her first airplane ride. .. …until there is a cure […]
20 weeks
We got the mission statement completed. I should feel happy. I should feel relieved. One thing off my plate. .. But all I can think is 20 weeks. Tomorrow is 20 weeks. .. I have never been so sad. I never knew sadness could permeate to these depths of a person without destroying them. I […]
aftermath of memory
Its amazing how one memory of her has completely rocked me .. not even a complete memory.. just the shape of one piece of her head . . I have been weepy ever since. Just constantly close to tears. . And they seem to come easily. Yesterday was just a much needed *almost* our family […]
I remember
Tony has our biggest and littlest living kids out running an errand and our new middle child is napping. I have business cards from DC set out to organize and start making contact.. I have a to-do list for Unravel laid out in front of me.. but I can’t motivate. Because I just need to […]
s’mores
Today I feel like I am grieving me. The old me. My old life. The woman, friend, wife and mother I used to be.. I went to a beautiful little girls funeral today. I sat and listened to how brave and strong she was.. and I wanted to just be grieving for her. I didn’t […]
heavy and crushing
It is so hard to come home to a house without her. . Its hard to leave and feel like I am leaving her behind. .. It is hard to come home.. to hug my boys.. and have my arms ache so desperately for the one hug I will never have the luck of getting […]
DC learning
I can’t believe it but I am so sick right now. I have so much I want to write about from DC and I feel like my brain can’t get it straight. Overall the trip was a learning experience. I would love to say I feel like we have friends on Capital Hill.. that I […]
