Fluttering means to me…
I am thinking about the fluttering fundraiser a lot lately. Read about it here. I am feel like its such a perfect representation of what we want Unravel to do/be. It raises awareness and funds and its something kids can help with.
My personal goal is to do it 25 out of 30 days.. I know me.. I know our lives and I am sure there will be days I can’t do the moving and new set up. So if thats a concern for you too.. Just know, if you do 25 different houses over the month (and they all choose to give you a address to send the dragonflies for the 25.00 donation) then you have the capability to make a 625 .00 donation at the end of the month to Unravel, specifically to Jennifer’s fund at Stanford and the drs that have her tumor. And you will have raised awareness about pediatric cancer facts to 25 homes!!!
This isn’t about Jennifer though.. its about all kids that have, will have or have had cancer. So we are giving people the option to use a paragraph about Jennifer or add in one of their own.. for the reason/child that made them want to get involved. We want this to be a fundraiser that works for people.. so if you miss a night or do it at lunch time instead of evening thats totally ok!
I still cannot believe the connection with dragonflies and death.. short lives.. going from nymph to dragonfly, how they fly above where they used to live.. The most striking to me of all the signs I was just starting to notice at this time
She would have loved this. So much. My Jennifer LOVED a secret. I remember at the clinic visits with my sister.. Auntie and her would have all kinds of little secrets .. even a whopper about asking Daddy to ok her getting pink carpeting… (he did!) .. It might her eyes come alive and sparkle. Sometimes at dinner she would just stand up and whisper in all of our ears.. each of us getting a different secret.. or rather trying to.. her hot breath would usually make us laugh to hard to hear her.
I had forgotten that memory from our dinners as a complete family.. for me personally this whole fundraiser is worth it for reclaiming that memory.
She would have loved sneaking up and planting some dragonflies on peoples lawns and then tip toeing away. I can just imagine grabbing her hand in mine and running back to the car holding in our giggles. She for sure would have asked to take a “selfie” with me…
And she would have felt good about doing something to help other people. She was always so much better about that then me. We would have tried to guess what the people that live in the house would say when they opened the door. .. We would have created memories together.
So I will trade off days/nights doing this with my boys… It will be different with them.. but my biggest hope is that I teach them they can be involved in causes that speak to them in all sorts of ways… donating money or time or energy.. And all things are valuable. I want them to take home that lesson that even though we were helpless in saving her from cancer we are not helpless in the fight to cure it.
They can.. even at 2 and 4 do something about it.
Jonathan will likely be very serious about making sure each dragonfly is in the perfect spot.. and I bet Nicholas will want me to carry him running to the car bouncing him all around. . .
I will do, like I wrote about here…something for them and with them .. because of her.
I will make memories with my boys while carrying memories of my daughter.